Sunday, December 14, 2008

Wish or Not Wish?

About a month ago, I wrote out my dream future; an idealistic version of me. Some people think this is a scary thing to do, but I have decided that it is better to live with your head in the clouds. I get sick of being cynical and in today's world, painting a 'realistic' fantasy can be pretty motivating. What was most interesting about the way I wrote, was how clearly definitive certain aspects were, while others allowed room for growth and change. I think I would like to do this exercise every now and then so that I can see how my thoughts reflect differently at different points in my life.

A friend asked me the other day, where I see myself at 35? Wow. This is 12 years from now and I was kind of (completely) lost, even with the dream future in front of me. But I think that is good. I don't want to know the answer, because what fun would that be? What I do know is that I value relationships in my life that allow me to grow as an individual and that hold me to high expectations. There are specific things I want in the future, and as I start playing this post-college game, these things become more and more important to question and think about.

The other day Noa said something to me that I think is just perfect. We were sitting at the counter having snack and she told me that her mom never buys things that are "so so expensive," but that she sometimes wishes for them anyway. Then after about a minute of silence she stated, "Because what are you going to do? Wish or not wish?"

I am going to wish :)

I think I have a lot of time to figure things out. Eskimo and Sons has a list of beautiful songs. But one song I particularly enjoy is No Shit. There is a line that goes:

"When death is a slow process, it seems, we've got nothing but time."

One of my best friends and I crafted this mantra in a conversation tonight:
"keep finding you before looking for we"

I don't think we can separate ourselves from the world around us: our relationships with our close friends and family, with our more extended communities, or with the outside world in general, but all of these things make up who we are.

This is important. I have been doing some hardcore thinking about communities and networks lately, especially as I grow citizenship as a branded portfolio piece.

I took a year-long course as a freshman at Portland State University called, "The Constructed Self." We would complain about not understanding the direction or assignments that were too open-ended. Our mentor would remind us that the things we learn in this course would echo the themes we would learn in every future course thereafter. So far, she was spot on.

This is one of my favorite ven diagrams, and it will probably keep me busy for years to come:

What I do know- I am an optimist. Education has made me one, and I am thankful for that. I think settling is a bad idea, and I like the view from up in the clouds.


Workin' I.T. said...

I am obsessed with you.
(And Noa).

Thanks for always being thoughtful and inspiring- I am glad we had that talk the other night, and am even more glad that we get to have them for the rest of our lives as we continually figure "this" out.

Stefanie said...

The constructed self! Ahhh! That did set us up great for life and the rest of college. We were such children.

kimkaralekas said...

Ven Diagrams! Deb would be soooo proud (=

I like the picture of project? I wish we still did that at school