Tuesday, September 23, 2008

So much past inside my present

I received a strange message today. Someone I use to know a few years back requested that I delete or throw away any pictures I had of her (we will call her Chloe). I can’t tell you the last time she and I spoke, but I can tell you that it affected my entire day. I got in touch with a past mutual friend who got the same message. Apparently, Chloe explained that she had just come out as a lesbian and that her entire past existence was nothing but a lie. She told our friend that she didn’t want to see any of those pictures ever again because the memories make her sick.

I can’t imagine throwing out pictures or memories. She was someone who I really cared about and learned so much from. She helped me to see the world in a different way, and I know that I am better because I knew her. So my answer is no. No, I will not throw away our memories, and no I cannot forget you, even if you are a different person today.

I am a firm believer that out past shapes our future. If I didn’t believe this, I wouldn’t be able to find peace or happiness in the present and there is just no use dwelling on the past. As much as we don’t want to sometimes, we have to look our past straight in the face, work with it, and learn all we can.

I think that it is human nature to constantly change; it is like a repeated new era of self-discovery. But, I know that there are pieces of our character that remain the same and it is because of those truths, that we are able to grow and take on new forms. I know that the past can be painful, but we shouldn’t allow that pain take hold of our present.


megan pants said...


Stefanie said...

I totally got the same message from 'Chloe.' I hope she's doing okay...Hmmmmmmmm